When Atlas slipped, I lost my grip (Wince, L.)

Well world, I think I'm finally losing grip again. It's been quite a good and hard time keeping myself together, but the glue I used is starting to give way.

So I'm gonna try and salvage it again, whatever broken pieces there are of me left, or if there aren't, whatever broken memories I can piece back together.

But what exactly has happened? I don't know. But I do know instead of my certain self I'm literally lost into my own head again, this is what happens when no one is around you see.

But I know very well this is the wrong time for this to be happening, so I'm gonna try very hard to delay the inevitable.

God, please help me. I'm at wits end.

Me MacBook

Apple is starting to piss me off...

My MacBook battery is swollen and they're refusing to change it.

Basterds.

Falling

Falling down, picking up,
The pieces of, the broken cup,
I'll sit around, and wait for..,
The one who'll come, and bring me out.

I'll sit by my side, and steal my soul,
I'll say goodbye, to yesterday's tomorrow,
I'll feed my bones, my cumbersome marrow,
Why do I feel, so..?

Because I'll be waiting, standing by the stone,
I'll be singing, cause I do not know,
And I'll be waiting, for you to steal my soul,
And bring me out, of a world only I know,
World only I know.

Bringing up, the pieces of the broken dove,
I'll fix it up, and set it in the skies,
Yet I still don't know, how and who and why?
Yet I still just fall, break down and cry.

Because I'll be waiting, standing by the stone,
And I'll be singing, words that we all know,
And I'll be waiting, for you to steal my soul,
And bring me out, of a world only I know,

Because I'll be waiting, standing by my stone,
And I'll be singing, words that you all know,
And I'll be waiting, for you to steal my soul,
And bring me out, of a world only I know,
A world only I know!
A world only I know!
An end forevermore...

Rushes

I can't explain it,
There's a rush in me,
Of confusion, of emotion,
And I'm trying to hold back the tears.

No nothing happened. Just more realization. And it is getting hard for me to contain everything.

More pieces of the puzzle are falling into place. And it is getting hard to ignore the picture, the masterplan.

I love you Denise. But I have inner demons. And I need help.

I'm struggling. I want to be happy. But I'm struggling. I want to be a better man. But I'm struggling.

Maybe they were right, maybe I'm still too young. Maybe giving up smoking has set me back the many years I did.

Maybe I'm a 16 year old again in my head. Cause I feel so confused.

And I'm scared.

Help me. Only if I let you.

I don't think I can contain myself anymore...

Answers

To find answers,
To find what you need,
You need to understand how you get it,
Not get it the way you understand it.

To fix anything,
You need to first understand it,
To figure it out, how it works,
Cause you can't fix a problem you don't understand.

To get through anything,
You need to find your path,
But how do you find the path,
When all you see is that boulder.

How to you get what you need,
When you can't find it, when it does not exist,
How do you find peace,
If it is not there for you.

What if your answer is that that can't be answered.

What if your solution, is the problem.

What if you are just who you are.

And change is just too far.